Overheard in the Barbershop

So I take the Kid to get his haircut. My barber was previously MIA so this is a major thing for us. So it's about 10 am and we're next  in line. The Barber is telling me how he has come from the club to the shop. I respond by telling him that he'd better not mess up the kid's hair line or else I'm gonna shank him. (I normally revert to Adebisi when I'm trying to make a point.)
So in the background they're playing some Urban Radio Station and The Dream's newest collab is on. I hate hip hop songs with catchy hooks because chances are A) my sister will use it as a ringtone or 2) The Chorus is redundant. Both cases end with the same result. The kid singing the song.

So I see his lips moving around and move closer and what do we have here?

The kid: I gotta Dope Chick, I gotta Dope Chick, I gotta Dope Chick
Me: WHATTTT? King who is your dope chick?
The Kid: Um, You mommy (Big SMiles)
Me: OH OK... (what else do you say to that?)

Good thing we don't listen to the radio in my house.

Do they card 4 year olds in the Liqueur Store?

The King, His mommy (me!) and his aunts were in the car riding around the city preparing for our Superbowl party.


 Lots of things were said, lots of jokes were made. What do you think Stuck with my cantankerous 4 year old? 

 The King: wait we have to go to the Liqueur Store

 Insert dumbfounded face. I'm quite certain Pre-K 4 will be playing a new make believe game.

Because Kids are made for our amusement

I fully enjoy embarrassing my son. I have a black book called the black mail files, this is definitely going in there.

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"The Brown Boy?"

We have a new addition to the family. He's about a foot tall, 2 feet long, black and furry. His name's iron man. He's our pet Shitzu and OHHHH the places you will go once you too join the elite club known as pet ownership. Much like houseownership except there is no appreciation on the initial investment.

So we go to Petco...you know WHERE PET' S GO to have him groomed. We spy another young boy in the aisle alone, he's been there for quite some time. So after a bit more time I ask him who he was there with, he said his dad and proceeded to walk away. I said hey just wait here, im sure your dad doesn't appreciate you walking off, he's probably worried. No sooner than those words left my lips did his father appear. He thanked me. I nodded story ended right? No

So The King (<--- My son) walks away and slips (ahh yes i forgot to mention it was raining, the floor was wet) and falls on the floor. Being the responsible father he is,  he used that as a teachable moment. He said be careful, see even the big kid fell. To which his son replied: The Brown kid?
Well I heard him but wasn't quite certain what to think of it at that moment, I began walking away. His father said did you hear what he said, He said the Brown kid?
I stated yes I did hear him and continued walking.

The end? NOPE

Said kid continued to walk and play with The King for the next 45 minutes.

I don't  know what to think of this and trust me I thought of it all within the past 2 weeks, I still have not come to a resolution and I suppose that I never will. The King didn't skip a beat but it made me wonder about what life will be like for him as a black male.

I suppose only time will tell.

Adventures in being a mommy

So the king and I walk into the deli. I'm itching to for my dollar and dream to win big, he's itching to help make use of these Dental benefits. So I'm ready to check out, the king is breakdancing down the aisles. (sn it's sad that the statement is not weird in the least bit) so I call out to him, he's ignoring me : per usual. I move closer to the counter and at the corner of my eye I can see my munchkin walking up behind me so I reach my hand back to grab his chips and say come in Munchkin. Now that would be okay if two things were not my reality at the moment. 1st the smaller person was not my son. No not in the least but. It was a Small person. So not only am I reaching out to this small person, I just called this small person who is may I add standing in line with a 40, a Munchkin. Cue the lollipop guild. Mortified was I. So now I'm trying to speed things up. The man behind the counter messed up my numbers. I didn't even correct him. I try to say to the small person I was talking to my son but of course the King is dougie'ing down the aisles so it's not readily apparent that he's with me. So finally I pull my son out the store. As you can guess he says but but but mommy He's Short.

Because They're GRRRReat

At around 9pm last night, I announced it was bedtime. My child promptly announced he was hungry. We both knew it was simply his attempt to avoid the inevitable. I don't know what it is about children and bedtime but apparently there is some kind of party held by all persons over 44 inches that commences immediately after they put on their PJ's.

So the following occurs

me: Ok so do you want Frosted Flakes
King: Yeah
Me: YESSSSSSSS
King: Yes
Me: OK

King walks ahead of me to go to the cabinet to get a bowl all the while he is rocking his head back and forth and singing:

"Don't let me get in my zone, Don't let me get in my zone, Don't let me get in my Zone"

Well, I guess Frosted Flakes will do that to you?

I love you more than Criminal Minds.....

Each Night the King and I trade I loves you's before going to bed. One night I began a subtle contest with him (I mean no brainer right?)


me: I love you more than all the stars in all the skies
King: I love you more than all the planets
me: I love you more than all the words in all the dictionaries in all the lands
King: I love you more than all the, all the, i love you more than you love Criminal Minds.


Case closed.
Mommy: 0
King:1